Up in the sky...

Hello all :)

I'm realising that my stories are growing longer!But I can't help it :( I've so much to write under a particular heading!

Now today's topic is:Up in the sky...

When I was a kid,I used to be fascinated by aeroplanes and airports.My grand dad was abroad and it was a big ceremony at home to go to the airport to pick him up every year.The airport was quite far from our place then and I don't remember going to the airport when I was small.But I have a vague memory of sleeping in the car during my entire journey to and fro ;) (Why did I even go??)

My first flight trip was to Mumbai when I was in the 4th std. I was feeling very excited and proud at the same time.Do you think its a petty thing to go in a flight??How many of my classmates would have gone in flight??I agree that I'm going to Mumbai..so what??

The day dawned bright and clear.It was an early flight and so we did not take our breakfast.So Achan Amma and my younger brother Appu were there with me.They sat together and I was asked to sit in a seat just infront of them.So I looked like I was travelling alone.

Everything was fine.Seatbelts..safety demo..Then came the time for coffee..

They served me coffee..Wow!!coffee from an aeroplane..

I took the first sip and thank God I didn't spit!!There was no sugar!I cursed the well dressed air hostess who served me coffee with a pleasant smile.(I was so happy when she called me Madam.And she served me COFFEE WITHOUT SUGAR??Sweet smile while serving not-so-sweet coffee??)

I still don't know why I drank the whole cup!Then I was going through the small packets that accompanied the coffee to find spoons forks and SUGAR!!!!

WHY THIS KOLAVERI DI???

I was almost in tears when I saw a not-so-young lady(50+) sitting across me.She was HUGE and she looked like she had taken a dip in makeup.Red lipstick :P and dyed hair and heavy eye makeup.

As it always happens to me, she caught me staring and she smiled to me and asked me to go sit next to her!I smiled and looked away.And soon the time to land came(1 hour journey right?)and then our lady started doing make up looking into her compact mirror and the funniest thing is the old man who was sitting next to her(who was asleep and snoring till then)was staring at her open mouthed.(I had company ;))

That was Journey No:1

The next one is the most memorable aeroplane journey of my life..The events were such that I can never forget it.

I was going to Mumbai..all alone..by flight..after my 10th standard.The date was April 2 2006..

I was feeling extremely nervous but I acted confident.

As I was going by flight,Amma got me new dress-thats another story..we went to buy pants for me..I still have no idea why I bought pants.That too cotton bell bottoms!!Not one..but 2..black with white lines and white with black lines.

I felt like killing myself when I saw the bill

Men's pants(2)

What an insult!I agree I'm fat but no ladies pants which will fit me??Tragic!

I was a "style diva"then.I wore cotton bell bottoms with a KURTI!And the hairstyle would have suited only a saree.I had thick bushy eyebrows and oiled hair!

Thinking about it now,I feel I would have been awarded some wardrobe malfunction award for my 'costume'

The flight was at 2.I was busy shopping in the morning that I did not have time for breakfast.

I was done with the security check and check in and finally I got into the flight and took my seat.

Even though I didn't look exactly like Rani Mukherji,I can expect Saif Ali Khan to be sitting next to me na??Some story like Hum Tum?

But I turned sideways to see a sour faced guy sitting near me and he looked as if he owned Jet!

Shattered dreams!!

So,I was looking forward to see the heavily made up female flight attendants when I realised that they had male flight attendants..They were very good looking.The flight took off and then I wanted water.I practised my dialogue for about three times so that my English sounded good(14 years of Anglo Indian education and still!!)

"Excuse me,could I have a bottle of water?"

This is what  asked for!!

Then we were served lunch and I ate well compensating for the lack in breakfast too.

Then it was time for landing when I started feeling dizzy.I felt sick and wanted to vomit.

Without any practice I asked the flight attendant if i could use the washroom.

"No Ma'am,we are getting ready for landing.Please be in your seat!"(Then why are you roaming about idiot!!)

I wanted to die then and there..OMG what if I vomit!!God!!It will be soo embarras.....BLAH..pause..BLAH

I VOMITED!!!

I looked left and right..Thank God!Noone saw me!But what a mess..I had no idea that there were bags kept in the pouch in front exclusively for this purpose because I didn't listen to the instructions..Thanks to my over confidence of this being my second trip by flight!

With all the towels in my hand I managed to clean up the mess..and splashed water on my dress..The bead work which adorned my kurti was now a mixture of beads and puke!Thanks to that,I looked normal.

Then the stupid flight landed and the flight attendant(Why did he look old and dark to me now?)came and said"Thanks for travelling with Jet"(Shut up fool!!)

I entered the airport and without second thought ran into the washroom and cleaned myself.

Then I went in search of my luggage and in the process managed to drop the heavy suitcase on a foreigner(Welcome to India!Have a pleasant and now painful stay!)

"You have to pull a trolley and not push it..because when you push it,it goes in the direction it wants."

This is a very important piece of information.But you will never realise it till you experience the embarrassment of pushing a trolley and the stupid trolley going zigzag with you and hundreds of onlookers!!

I met my aunt and there were no hugs.Thanks to the great aroma I was spreading all over!

And my small cousin was very frank when she told her Mom,"Chinnu chechi is stinking."

Tujhse naaraz nahi zindagi...hairaan hoon main..

Lesson learned:Do eat properly before you take a flight.There are bags kept in the pouch infront of you,if you feel like vomiting.

You have time for one more lesson??

My Mom was planning to go to Mumbai to meet some of her school friends and I tagged along.We were going just for 3 days(busy people,you see ;))and both of us were feeling high and mighty about it.

"You see,we are going to Mumbai for 3 days and thought we'll travel by flight..Tickets are a bit costly..still..we are used to the luxury" ;) (BIG DEAL!!!)

So we went and other than me almost falling while trying to put the hand luggage into the cabin above us,thanks to my height,the onward journey was eventless..

So when we were returning from Mumbai,we were waiting in the lounge when we saw a man whom we knew who had a small business near our house!IN THE AIRPORT?

He came and talked to us and he was like"I came yesterday to get stock.I travel to Mumbai twice in a month and prefer flight as it is more comfortable."

Two sentences..changed our lives!All the boasting and high and mighty attitude washed away in a second!!

Lesson learned:Never underestimate a Malayalee and NEVER EVER BOAST!!OR FEEL SUPERIOR!

In the remaining flight trips I stuck to a rule"SLEEP"or in Spicejet where they don't provide food,you'll have to buy cashewnuts worth Rs.100.Better than saying no and seeing their expression which screams"Kanjoos(Miser)"is sleeping..

So that's all about my eventful flight trips :)

Hope you enjoyed!

Wherever I go,embarassment follows me..I'm like this only!!