The Proposal

Hello folks! Hope you enjoyed my previous blogs. When I went to Bangalore for my internship, it so happened that during the weekdays I was all by myself most of the time. At work, I was the only intern in my department and the others in my department were all seniors and were loaded with work or were always discussing things about life and this went over my head. And even when I got back to my PG, I was surrounded by a lot of strangers and for the first time in life I didn’t make any good friends there. They all belonged to a totally different planet or maybe I was the odd one. So when I retreated to my shell and remained silent for hours, my brain actually started working after a long time and 'bhavana' attacked me. And thus a few stories were penned down.

So the topic for the day is my wedding!

I do not know if I should write this story, as I am of the "marriageable age" but if you get to see it then it means that my censor board- Amma, has approved and has let me post this ;)

Let me start blabbering! And no arguments from you people, coz I am speaking what’s in my mind and I am not here for a debate. All the crazy things written below are for purely entertainment purposes :D

When debates are held on the topic "Love marriage vs arranged marriage" we see that there are n number of points for and against both of them. I am neutral when it comes to love and arranged marriage as I believe that its all dependent on the participant individuals and the surroundings if their marriage would work or not.

 But when I look at the faces of strangers on my matrimonial page and wonder, "Would he be the father of my kids?" (I know I shouldn’t think so much, but when you have decided to opt for arranged marriage, then what I said is true na? Some stranger who you see through the matrimonial site or through some mutual acquaintance is going to father your child!) I feel, it would be damn convenient if you knew your future husband atleast by face.

For eg: If I was told I was to marry Ranveer Singh next month, I would panic about having to marry a total stranger, but atleast I wouldnt have to waste time trying to remember how this guy looks like!! In the case of arranged marriage, you dont really get to hang out with the guy a lot provided you both are in the same city or there is a lot of time between your engagement and wedding and the biggest factor of all-your parents must be okay with it( or you should be daring enough to sneak out :D ) So thats the biggest advantage of marrying a friend or acquaintance or neighbour or relative or similar. You know his face!

And about knowing the person, I have nothing much to say there as I have heard that all men( & women) wear this PERFECT mask before the wedding happens and once the thing is official would just remove the mask part by part and you get to see a total stranger! I know just the theory, would confirm this once I marry.

So I am currently in this stage where a vast majority of my friends have married and have kids and even the guys have started getting married. I am just 24, and independent working women have 3 more years of time to actually settle down with their job and career and think about marriage to an equal. But the sympathy filled looks of the people around me and the frequent calls Amma gets from my prospective in-laws are all making me bored to death.

If what Pooja believes in Dil to paagal hai is correct, "Kahin na kahin, koi na koi, hamare liye zaroor banaya gaya hai", then "My Guy" is out there somewhere. And I desire to give him one tight slap when we meet! How romantic! I know ;) I have a good reason for this.

In the quest to find him, life has presented me with enough experiences that I feel he is responsible for majority of it. If atleast he gave some assurance that he actually exists, I could have thrown it on the faces of all those people who look at me with sympathy and also those people who tell me, "Enough of enjoyment. Go get married!" “Why are you still single?”Hello people! Do you think that I have a long queue of suitors at my front gate daily and I reject all their proposals as they do not look like Hrithik Roshan? Or do you expect me to approach guys and ask them to marry me. Dont you all feel that, when it is time, my marriage will happen and that it is not in my hands to marry asap? (Not that I want to hitch myself anytime in near future :D ) And not to forget my perfect horoscope which does not match with any of the nice guys out there!!

Amma has put my profile on the matrimonial site and we get requests and calls and messages daily. Thankfully I have not yet met any guy in person or talked to anyone, all thanks to my horoscope which is on strike and would not match with any of the wonderful guys we like! And we have a lot of weird people out there

Some of them are worth mentioning. Here you go:

   1. Mr. Dasettan

            You all know that the talkative and irritating me  is confident about ending up with a man like Das from Bangalore days. One of the first proposals we got were from a similar kinda guy. One look at his foto and I knew he would be damn matured and reserved and would have nothing to say to me except, "Grow up Gayathri" He was the kind of guy who your parents would trust and he looked like someone who invested in shares and ate food with forks and spoons. He looked like he doesn't own one funky colored T-Shirt. Life would have been black and white. And silent! The guy wouldnt argue and might even practice yoga. A photo speaks volumes :P But horoscopes didnt match. End of story.

   2. Mr. Pamban

            I am not sure if I am right, but if you observe the pics of a person in the matrimonial sites, you get a small idea about the kind of person he is. Generally people make it a point to keep their best photos in the matrimonial site- atleast I did :P

So one particular proposal came, the profile was perfect. NIT and IIM and well paid job. In the first pic, he looked like he doesnt give a damn about the world- pacha malayalathil paranjal oru puchcham poleyulla expression. The next foto- He had a snake around his neck. Wow! Kollalo! Daring aadmi hai ;) But I smelt a show off somewhere. Then came another pic, with a tiger cub. I was reminded of the movie Om Shanti Om, where SRK plays with a tiger and says, "Ohh..tiger cat! Naughty cat, naughty cat.Yenna rascala mind it!" Satyam paranjal chiri vannu. Why all these pics in  his matrimonial profile? Luckily or unluckily, our horoscopes didnt match and so all my dreams of going abroad and posing with snakes and lions were shattered there! Nammakk pattideyum poochedeyum koode foto edukkana vidhi.

   3. Mr. Perfect

            Being an MBA student, many matrimonial profiles remind me of marketing lessons I have learnt. Our son is the best in the world/ He is a very smart, handsome, brilliant......,etc etc

Come on- marry my son! He is the best in market. Additional features : My son is a trained classical singer, he has done MBA in the best colleges of US. He works for a Fortune 500 company. Hurry Hurry! Offer till my son's single status lasts!

I really get scared seeing such profiles. The guys are portrayed as being soooo perfect that it scares me. The crazy mind of mine starts thinking- What could be wrong with him? He is soo damn perfect! Womanizer? Gay? Underworld? Drug addict? Which one of this would he be?

So now this guy had a tick mark in all the entries of my Mom's checklist of “My perfect son-in-law”! I was not very keen on this guy coz his profile was damn perfect! I just hoped that my horoscope saves me. But alas! Even his horoscope was perfect and our horoscope match score was 8/10!! That was the beginning of an era! His Dad called and I was hoping he was rude or behaved so badly that Amma would hate him. But No! He had the best behaviour. He spoke for about 10 minutes about his son, who was the youngest to hold his current position and blah blah smart blah blah ambitious! B-A-D-A-Y-I!!!

 So both families checked horoscopes and they said that the guy was on a tour and so he hasn’t seen my profile yet and that they would inform us as soon as he comes back.( I guess he went to Antarctica or maybe some deep sea to explore oil reserves where you don’t get internet connectivity!)

We waited for more than a month. I doubted if the guy got caught in the Bermuda triangle and he never came back L And Amma messaged to enquire. The Mom talked this time and she was like this ideal Mom-in-law. “We loved your daughter, but our son hasn’t come back yet. We will be coming to India in Feb. So we will come over then. The wedding can be held after June.”Which part of the above conversation means that they are not interested? But that was it! They never called!! :P My Amma was devastated :P We all cornered her and she became the target of all our jokes! 

And then last month, the element of my Mom’s tears was in his FB profile- HE WAS ENGAGED! And the girl was a Chemical Engineer like him. I smelt a love marriage somewhere.

So one request to all the committed people- Oru nivarthiyillathe matrimonialil profile kodukkunna daridravaasikale oru mathiri Sasiyakkaruth. If you plan to marry ur respective bf/gf please don’t create matrimonial profiles and if you create please don’t respond to any requests! Kaalu pidikkam! :P

   4. Mr. IES

Proposals came in every now and then, but the whole while, Achan made no comments. But then came in a proposal from Palakkad. B.Tech from one of the best colleges of Kerala and then IES- Yes Indian Engineering Services. Achan was really very happy. Central govt. Sneham!

His Mom was really very keen on this proposal. She kept on calling saying that they checked horoscopes and asked us to check the same.

And his house was near one of my most favourite temples of Palakkad. My stupid mind started its imagination- Maybe he is the one and maybe that’s why I liked the temple so much. I was destined to visit it every now and then :P

Then I saw his profile. He was one serious guy. 2 pics- No smile! Slim guy!!! And he worked in KERALA!

Look! Its not that working in Kerala is a bad thing. But my understanding is that, as distance from home increases, you will be missed more.

Lets look at this scenario. I get married to an NRI. Most probably, I would visit home only once a year. At max twice a year. And when I visit, I would get VIP treatment. All my favourite dishes on the table. When someone asks Achan about me, he would say, ”Chinnu is coming from Antarctica for a month’s vacation.” Wow!! Then he would have to take a day’s leave to come to the airport and receive me! We would Skype daily. And everyone might even cry on seeing me (Not coz I will pester them till the end of my vacation! ;)

Now let us look at the scenario on hand. My husband works in Kochi which is just 4 hours away from Calicut. If I want I can come home on Tuesday evening after work and then go back on Wednesday morning and still go for work. Boring! I can come home whenever I want( which is a good thing) but where is the glamour? I would come by train and no one would even come to receive me! I come home in an auto rickshaw and then enter and people would not even look up from their work. No one would miss me, coz hey you are never really gone. You come home every other weekend Chinnu!! We don’t get a chance to miss you girl! B-O-R-I-N-G!

And so I was disappointed about this Kerala working guy. Achan was happy about that too ( Railway station is closer to my house than airport! And he needn’t take leave too!!) Another reason why I disliked him was because he was thin. I am fat and I had taken this oath that I would marry only someone who weighed atleast 10 kgs more than me! This guy looked so damn slim! And I had no proof if he had teeth. He did not smile in both the photos given in his profile. I started hyperventilating! I hoped that our astrologer would say that the horoscopes would not match. But both the days Achan went to meet him, he was not there. I thought I would die of high blood pressure.

The guy worked for the Railways. Day and night Mummy talked about the advantages of marrying him.

   1.       You get to travel all over India free of cost in the first class compartment (The guy who doesn’t even smile would not be interested in petty things like travelling, right? )

   2.      You would have your own quarters! ( And I thought I would be staying in my Burj Khalifa apartment :P )

   3.      He would have a good pension (Wait!! Don’t go that far!!)

And my friends had other things to say:

  1.       You will have to get my tickets confirmed and book emergency quota for me

  2.      Gayathri, he might even help you to get a job in the railway ticket counter

  3.      Your kids can study in the Railway school ( Eh :O )

My friends started teasing me. When we have team lunches in Mainland China and Barbeque Nation and wear formal suits to work, you would wear a cotton saree and go to Indian Coffee House for team lunch!

They made me look like someone who worked day and night, did household chores and went vegetable shopping while my boring husband did a 9-5 job, travelled in 1^st class, came back and shouted at me and even snored at night :P

It was like I was one of those 70s heroine in whose house nothing good happened and she stayed married and put up with all the torture just so that her kids would have a father.

Tooooo much right? But if you know me, you know how my over-imaginative brain works. I mentally burnt all my jeans and sleeveless tops in those two days as I would never need them :P We would be staying in Kerala right?( I am just joking. No offense meant. Even I belong to a middle class family and this kind of normal life is really a blessing in disguise according to me )

Then came the verdict from our astrologer.. the horoscopes matched perfectly!! TADA TADA!! Goodbye pub dreams! Goodbye blue jeans! Goodbye Goa!

The Mom was informed and she called immediately. The questions begin.

His Mom: How tall is Gayathri? (PLEASE REFER PROFILE)

His Mom: Is she fair? She looks fair in her pics. Then why did you write wheatish?

My Mom: She is not very fair and is not dark too.

His Mom: Is she brown?

My Mom: *speechless*.

His Mom: Please send more pics. I have a doubt about her colour.

Brown? Racist Madame. How dare you? You son looks starved. What would you call him then? I felt like Nagavalli. Unakku evalo dairyamiruntha ippove enkan munnadi vanthu nippen? Unne njan konne un rakthathe kudiche omkaranadanamiduven!!

But this could be a good idea for a Fair and Lovely advertisement right? 

She never called after that! I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe because I was brown!!

     4.      Mr.Uncle

He was 57. Older than my Dad. He sent us this message and it said that he was really rich and he was looking for a soulmate. The message was something like this. “If you can suggest anyone you know. I don’t mind if she is divorced or has kids. I am ready to provide for them as well. Age is also not an issue I am a very rich person” Blah blah blah! Basically he wanted to marry a woman. That’s not much to ask for. But why tell me?

It was like I am the wedding broker! Uncleji.. I myself am looking for a soulmate and now I need to look for a bride for you too? Spare me sir!

          5.       Mr. Expectations

This guy sent us a message. And I checked his profile and was shocked. More than he wrote about himself, he has written about his future bride. It was scary. Basically she had to be perfect. His ideas and concepts about the girl were all made clear. He was a control freak and he liked things in place and everything should be clean and so on. He needed a housekeeper and not a wife. And her height should be atleast 5’6. So that she can clean the fans and ceiling?

Sadly I did not match any item on his checklist. And the last sentence he added was: Even if she is not all this, I am ready to accept her. She just has to have a heart ready to love. C-H-E-E-S-Y!!

His description made me feel so damn inferior and the message looked like he was being kind enough to accept someone like me who did not match any of his expectations. People!

     6.      Mr. Lover Boy

Something which happened a few years back. A friend of mine. It seems I was his idea of an ideal life partner( Nice selection :P But a moment of silence for his idea! ;) ) The guy did not have the guts to talk to me about it directly. Text messages were perfectly fine! :P And as far as I am concerned, if you love me, you should have the guts to atleast come up to me and say it on my face. Maybe Im old fashioned, but all other proposals are just KKPP-Kittiya kitti poyal poi ;) according to me. So this guy failed to impress me.

 Then finally, he went as far as asking his parents to get our horoscopes matched. God bless him! And when they didn’t match, his so called love flew out of the window. I found it very funny because as soon as he got to know about this horoscope mismatch then he started behaving all funny. It was like he was scared that I will stalk him and ask him to marry me :P Or maybe the horoscope talked about death if we got married. Whatever it was Mr.Lover boy was scared to death. Itre ullu!!

And the parents too were really worried and they went as far as asking my Mom to ask their son to forget me. Wow! I felt blessed! :P  But little did they know that the son ran away like I had plague as soon as he knew about the horoscope mismatch!! :P Our generation has not lost its values! :P

And then within a week he announces his engagement to a girl! I guess the guy thought that I would end up at his doorstep with his text messages and ask him to marry me and thereby he jumped at the next best suited horoscope which came his way!! ;)  

Paavam! Jeevanil kothi ullathondalle? Horoscope mismatch is injurious to health :P I still wonder where the love he kept professing for a year went all of a sudden! Feeling Sasified :P Oh my horoscope! Y do u do this to me!

These are some of the specimens I met. And the good ones, the normal ones(the lucky ones) had horoscopes which clearly shooed away someone like me who could eat their head with my non-stop chatter.

 Trust me, there are a lot of sensible, nice and normal guys who don’t go on marketing themselves. Like a good advertisement, they speak less but that speaks volumes. The photos they post speak for themselves. No weird selfies with pouts ( I hate men who pout!! Its soo girlish) I doubt if few of the guys have eyes. Coz like Mammootty in Rajamanikyam, they have goggles in each and every foto they post. Some write they are teetotallers but have pics posted with drinks in hand :P Some cannot live without jackets! And some have a thing for posting pics which have a foreign country as background, even though they work in the rural areas of Tamil Nadu.

Then then the latest joke is that many of the guys I see on the matrimonial site get married to girls I know ;) Just yesterday, I saw the wedding pic of one of the girls I know and the guy looked very familiar. Yes! I know him! I have seen him on the matrimonial site. :P It’s like my own private joke. Hey! I know your husband before you even met him!!Hahahaha(Villain style) :P

A wide variety of people out there! And after all arranged marriage might not be a bad idea. You get to choose from a lot of options which you filter and filter and filter and then do background check and so on. But whatever you do, it’s all about time. When it has to happen, it will.

Till then let’s crush on the handsome film stars or random strangers or even your friends’ bfs and look at the matrimonial profiles and attend the phone calls of all those wonderful men out there. Who knows? One of them would father your child :P

Irritating, right? That’s me :P

I am like this only :D

Reminder: The above post is just for entertainment sake. No hard feelings! And shoo shoo please no irritating comments!! I am already overloaded ;)

Is 24 old?

I am in a dilemma! I don’t know if I’m too young to feel old or too old to feel young. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere! I can’t see myself as the happily married doting wife with babies anywhere in near future. Even though I am categorised under the boring auntyji types who don’t go out there and have fun,I feel that this doting wife image doesn’t suit me. Atleast not now! Not that I would cheat on my husband or wouldn’t love my in-laws but I cannot see myself in that domestic atmosphere with a lot of responsibilities atleast for one more year! And even going out and doing crazy stuff and enjoying life as they call it doesn’t suit me! Its not that these are the only two dimensions of life, but I know very few people who share my thoughts and feel the same as me.

Now there is one thing which pricks me day and night. I want a job in Bangalore and also a 1 BHK flat with a balcony facing something nice-like a lake or maybe greenery or even buildings at a distance would be fine. It should be close to the office where I work and this would help save transportation money.

Even though I’m a tenant, I want to convert the apartment into my niche. It should speak about me. Photos and books and an extremely cosy and huge sofa/ recliner where I can sit for hours reading or listening to my fave songs or writing something or just plainly staring at the ceiling. Wow!What a tempting place! I do not know for how long, but as of now, the whole idea of solitude and silence tempts me. And I donot know when I will get bored with the idea of having no one else except me for company but I want to enjoy all the peace and madness while it lasts.

So lets come back to our topic. Is 24 years old? Like Achan says, however old we become in terms of the number of years spent on earth, we must always try to be young at heart and this would recharge your energy and you would feel a lot younger.

But as of now, most of my friends are really busy. All except me. I have all the time in the world and I feel like I am being taken for granted. Few friends who depended on me at some point of life have just forgotten that I exist. And when people need a shoulder to cry on or someone to whom they can bitch about life in general or someone to hang out, I am the only available person in town. It feels good that they are reminded of me in times of need, But when that becomes the only time they think of you, it really hurts! Or in simpler terms freaks you out. There are times I wish I was busy, so that I could say No and atleast then they would appreciate me. but you see, I’m jobless and so..time is available in plenty!

So lets classify my girl friends into three broad categories: 1.Single 2. Committed 3.Married

And these can be subdivided into:

1.     Single:

a.       Single and happy: Living life to the fullest. No plans of getting hitched anytime soon. Friends and family rule their life. Some of them have a checklist of things they want to get done before getting trapped somewhere.

b.     Single and worried: Why me? Why me of all people? Why am I still single? Why doesn’t anyone like me? When will I get married? Marriage and the perfect guy is the one solution to all their problems

2.     Committed

a.      Committed and happy : Chilling out with their boyfriends. Having the time of their lives. Occasional fights do happen, which don’t really count. The relation maybe serious or just a temporary arrangement but the girls are really happy. Engaged people also come in this category. The Vivaah types. Talking on the phone all the time and loads of gifts and hangouts and surprises involved- Case ideal!

b.     Committed and complaining: The I-Date-An-Onion types who are either crying or fighting or complaining or thinking of breaking up or spying on their boyfriends and what not. They might even have the best boyfriends in the world but no use- we don’t appreciate! Even the breakup phobic ones come here. They are unhappy, but they are ready to take all the crap from the guy who might be ill-treating them and whine all the time and in the end would cling onto the same guy! God knows why!

3.     Married

a.      Married and happy: their world revolves around their husbands and families. They are having the times of their lives. Happy and content. Majority have no time for old friends. Few look at their not yet married friends with pity-their lives hold no meaning. Some others irritate the world by proclaiming how perfect their life is and how happy they are.

b.     Married and not happy: To the world they might be happily married but many a time its just a pretence. They did not get the life they wished for. Either the Mil is a terror or you have extremely irritating relatives or even worse-the husband is a good-for-nothing and emotionless jerk.

Lets skip the divorced or separated category as I do not know anyone who has reached that stage.

I might belong to category 1- The single and enjoying life one. Being very frank with you all, I was falling under the single and worried category till recently. Thanks to the people I meet every day! Oh! You are not married yet. You are 24? Oh No! Is there something wrong with the horoscope? You should reduce weight. Oh you are soo short!

SHUT UP! I am still not married partly because I chose not to marry and partly because there is a time for everything and maybe the time for my marriage has not come yet.

My friends are all part of the above categories. Now talking about the new set of the younger people I recently met. I really don’t identify with them. Its not that I feel out of place and there are no topics to discuss with them but with a group of them talking, I really feel like they are damn silly! The discussion mainly involves clothes, fashion and beauty! I have a very small streak of “tomboyishness” in my character and I feel that discussions which involve only beauty tips and dressing up are plain LAME! I am not against all this and also I do take efforts to look good most of the times I attend functions. Like I read somewhere- “I either dress up like I am going to attend a red carpet function or like I am a homeless drug addict” This is very true about me. I am like that! But my point is, looks are not the only things which matter in life. Right na?

I am 101% sure that all I think and talk about is not always dresses, beauty, makeup, brands, fashion and sales. Am I growing old or am I already there? What exactly do you call this phase?

Moreover these young girls fail to notice the acting happening in movies but the only things that get noticed are the dresses, shoes and makeup! It is not wrong, but it is weird if all your brain registers is the external appearance of a person and the clothes they wear. For those who know me, I am fat and short. I look fat because I am short and I look short because I am fat. It is a vicious circle. And recently, for the first time in my life I was asked if it was a medical condition. I was so shocked that the “No” I said was not audible to my own ears. How dare she? And the shocking part is, even though I am not zero size, I am not obese! 

And another friend of mine, seeing my photo teased, “You look like you would burst any second!” And not to mention the daily taunts I get from far and near just coz I look like I do. “You look like our dept HOD” “You look like an aunty” “You don’t walk, but you roll” This goes on and I get bored nowadays.  *Yawn*Tell me something I don't know people!  Just because I am not a diva, I am ill treated and insulted! I really don’t care most of the times, but beyond a tolerance level, its very difficult to put up with this! But still I don’t say anything. Mambazham ulla maavine kalleru kittu! Be positive! And to a certain extent, I hate people who give importance to looks. They themselves are bothered about maintaining a perfect figure and looking like they have just come out of a fashion magazine at all times. Anyone who has extra pounds look abnormal to their eyes. I have no intention of working out in near future. Do you mind? Does this make me old?

Then, I still don’t believe in relationships just to pass time. You can read or dance or do bungee jumping to pass time. Why get into a relationship?

Like I was recently enlightened by a spokesperson of the new generation-you should not have serious relationships till you are going to get married. Time pass relationships have no strings attached. The only promise you make to your partner is that you will have loads of fun. After the contract is over, you part as friends and your ego and heart is unharmed.

According to him, a girlfriend is just for masti. Go for movies, get drunk together, go to pubs and dance together, go on trips, long drives and at times there are added benefits(you can guess that part) Basically she is a friend who never says “No!” to your propositions. Wow! Impressive! My foot! I feel like puking when I hear such nonsense. Maybe I am wrong and old fashioned. But this is my blog and so I can voice out my opinions. I really can’t digest these relationships to pass time. Is it a hobby? Some people I know have so many girl/boy friends just to pass time and they have lost count. 

Maybe mine is cheap middle class mentality. I really used to believe in the concept of “Kahin na kahin koi na koi hamare liye zaroor banaya gaya hai!” I believed in waiting for “The One”. With age I know that it is all nonsense and that I would stay waiting for the One and he would be juggling his gfs at the same time. I really don’t care anymore. He can live as he pleases till he meets me. But even then I cant accept this timepass relationships concept. Does that make me old?

And at times when I hear all these talks about life and families and investments and savings, I really feel bored. Oh! Gold prices have come down. Lets buy something for Chinnu’s wedding. (Hey people! Let us finalize the groom and then we can make the purchase ;) This is because last time we went to get some gold for me, the salesman asked me, “When’s the D day?” with a smile on his face. He thought I would blush and smile and tell him the date. But my reply was, “Haha. Not anytime soon. As a matter of fact, I am not even engaged” He was all “PLING!” So spare me the embarrassment) When I was working- Don’t spend all your money. Save something. Invest in SIP plans. BORING!! When recently a married friend advised another one about the pros and cons of renting an apartment and actually taking a loan to buy one, I literally yawned all along. Next one is about eating healthy so that you wouldn’t be targeted by diabetes and BP and so on. Oh God! You are already tensed about all that and your youth is being wasted! So am I young? So is 24 young?

Be it old or young, I have no intention of worrying now. Let us enjoy our 24^th year of life. What if we get hitched next year? Then you would be transferred to the other categories. So enjoy life when its good. You never know where you end up. And I am going to get Dasettan from Bangalore Days! So enjoy maadi.

But “Gayathri...Irritating people all over since 1991..” That would continue till my death I guess.

I am like this only and will continue to be like this only :P

Hyderabad Diaries-Part 3

Hello! Lets move on to part 3.

In April 2013, a mail came, which pulled me out of the depression. My joining letter at TCS. Guess the location? H-Y-D-E-R-A-B-A-D!!!

Life is good at times! ;) I was fed up cursing myself and wishing life would be different and wishing that I was the girl who could make my parents proud and not the useless person who gave up her job to pursue M.Tech. And the mail came as a blessing and I decided to go work even though I did not want to be an independent working woman!

Packed my bags and on May 12^th afternoon flight(Note the point: FLIGHT..Kurach rich familyaa) we set out to Hyderabad. Evening we reached Hyderabad and we visited Suresh Maman’s family and then at night about 10, I entered Manjeera Diamond Towers.

We were allotted a 3BHK and it was just Wow! Ours was an all-Keralites flat with all familiar faces and my roomie was a real sweet girl who was older than us but was equally fun loving.

In a way, Hyderabad ILP was a small version of heaven on earth J Though I was not very happy thanks to our stupid technical faculty. That great person,(like Sreenivasan says in Yatrakarude Shradhakku, “Dhaivame, ayakk nallath mathram varuthane, ennalum aa kalamaadan!”) was born to torture me. I would be working on my system, reading books and preparing notes and he would be standing behind me like in horror movies. Suddenly you turn and there he stands... I get the shock of my life!! “Yes Sir?” “What are you doing Madam?” (Frying fish..want some?) IS HE BLIND? He does this daily! And then he says, I have to try harder. People sit in groups and chitchat and he is okay about that because they are from his state. Bloody Biased Fool! Except for him and Java, life was good.

I was part of 3 gangs-my G-603 gang-my flatmates, 5 of us from NSS and one from MES. The best apartment I have seen, it wasn’t fully furnished, but I just loved it. One day I want to own an apartment like that. It was well lit and spacious and felt like home. There was no lake view or sea view, but just puddle view and building-in-progress views, especially the workers starring into our rooms. For someone who lived in a Government college hostel infested with bugs and insects even Discovery Channel wouldn’t show and which was home to a lot of ghost stories and looked like a haunted house and later spent 5 months in a cabin without ventilation it was no less than a 5star hotel.

We made it a point to have lunch and dinner together daily and we had the discussion sessions every day to share the stories which happened in each batch every day. The sofa in our sitting room which was light blue in colour ended up being brown in colour. We sit there chitchatting and watching TV and at times Vidhya sleeps there! She has a single bed all to herself but no she sleeps there.

Then was the Tamil gang - Thanks to Vidhya, I could learn some Tamil and I have to thank them for their patience in putting up with my Tamil. I literally raped the language in all possible ways, but I just wanted to be fluent in Tamil. Even after watching a lot of Tamil movies, I never understood 90% of these movies.

The third gang was our Ajab Gajab family and as the name suggests it was a family and we had grandparents and parents and kids and uncles and aunts. People all over found it silly(and reports say that many were jealous too) but we were really very close to each other and felt like a family. It was a very big group and I was introduced as the prospective “bride” to two of their sons and I ended up being Bhabhi and Bahu to many and most of the times I had confusion about who my “husband” was but finally I ended up with one husband ;) I really felt like I was part of a Hum Saath Saath Hai kind of family and the drama of being bahu and bhabhi and patni was really funny. Many a time I felt like a Bollywood heroine :D All of them spoke good Hindi and I was the only person of the group who spoke Hindi like Chatur in 3 Idiots. The outings and movies and dinners were so nice and above all the travel to and fro by autos where we sang songs the whole time was real fun. I really miss those days. Waiting for the day when we all would meet again and relive the old days.

Food was a great problem as the dhabas and hotels nearby did not have great food and many a time we were fighting for the toilets in our flat :D We had our bus which came every morning to take us to office and then it would drop us back. Never before in life was I soo punctual!In the 3 months, I missed my bus just once. So venamenkil chakka verilum kaykkum ;)

Also there were autos which would fit in as many people as it could. If you can get in the auto, then number doesn’t matter. We once had about 10 people in a small auto including the auto driver. 7 at the back and 2 with the driver. Was a real adventure. The autos also let people sit at the back, which is for the luggage. You have to sit facing the vehicle at the back. We once went like that. You feel soo silly, as you are looking at the driver behind you and there is nowhere else to look at and the most important point is you are holding on to dear life. You miss a hump and you are under the car behind you.

Then came the malls of Hyderabad. Our favourite, Inorbit Mall, HiTech City. One of my most favourite malls in the world. The people who visited that mall on 18^th May 2013 were the luckiest ever. There was a karaoke competition and guess who went on to participate? Yes, you are right! Me!! I sang Dhoom Machale and I’m sure Sunidhi Chauhan would feel inferior if she heard me that day! The previous time I sang the song, no one heard it, thanks to the boos from the audience ;) We hang out every now and then at the InOrbit Mall and it was very close to almost all of the TCSers. I even got a chance to visit GVK1 mall, which was a really cool mall. Suresh maman had once taken us to watch English Vinglish there.

Then came the office- for someone who came from a Government college which boasted of the worst food in Kerala and maybe the oldest buildings, Q City, Gopanapally, Hyderabad was like a wonder. Food was good and we got to drink CCD coffee for free during the breaks :D The office was also well designed and stylish. My most favourite part was the auditorium, which had the best chairs fit for sleeping :D Comfort redefined. And in that auditorium, I heard some of the best stories about the lives of TCSers.

Hyderabad had a very important role in my life. As a person I evolved there. I became an independent working woman both emotionally and financially from Hyderabad. I had this weird desire to never be independent. That till marriage, I would depend on my parents and then directly shift to the shade of my husband. But from Hyderabad the desire to be independent and shower my family with gifts and spend to my heart’s desire captured me. I really wanted to do something in life and be different.

Then I moved on to Bangalore and then the seeds of what was sowed in Hyderabad grew into a small sapling. Inspired by Yazhini, the desire to be independent became strong and I the urge to do something different in life became stronger. And when I returned back home to do my Post graduation, something killed the independent working woman and I had this deep desire to get married and settle down. But again, when I started doing my internship, once again the desire to work and spend and be independent has come back and is nagging me. I do not know where this would end up. But as far as being different is concerned, I am sure that I am weird enough to be different from the rest ;) Athokke mathi thalkalam. :P

I’m like this only! J   

The worst things that can happen to a school girl!!!

PART 1: AUTO TALES

Hi all! The recent school get together I went to has played a huge role in me writing down some of the many memories I have about school. And you get no points for guessing- they are silly! And trust me, this would be the silliest of the lot :D

As we always say or as we all know, school days are the best days of one’s life. Thinking of it now, even I agree that those were the most carefree days of life. That time of life when mobile phones were something which big people or rich people possessed and internet was something which held answers to all your project related questions. Both of the above had no connection with each other and both didn’t qualify as necessities and “Things you cannot live without”. My life was much simple and was not spent in whacking my brains thinking, “Which would be my next FB profile pic ” :P

As a student, the main concerns I had included getting good marks or as my grandma terms it, “Be first in class and show them.” “Them” being the superset which includes all those who hurt me! Then, hurt meant, making fun of me, not waiting for me to eat lunch and many more similar serious concerns :P One more advice Mummy gave me and still gives me is “Make the class topper your best friend.” I find it extremely funny when she asks me to choose friends based on the weight of their marksheets. But her whole intention is good and the idea behind it is that, you do what your friends do and if they are studying and have goals in life, even you will end up like them.

I was this short and fat girl who had a very heavy school bag(now I know the reason behind my stunted growth :P I studied in an all girls school and was a nerd. But a very talkative nerd. I used to talk to anyone and everyone and even the teachers were not spared ;) I’m proud of my achievements :D

I was least bothered about the way I look, even though at times I used to feel why God has been stingy to me in the looks department, coz with or without makeup, I looked like I was just out of bed ! Thanks to those scary and bushy eyebrows and teeth which never stayed inside a closed mouth and was visible even when my mouth was closed :P I participated in off-stage items like essay writing and also drama. I really had a passion for acting and writing. I was never selected for any dance programmes and if you have guessed already,it is the height factor (ie., you do not get many girls who are as “tall” as me and so “You are not selected Gayathri”

One of the worst things that could happen to a school girl is being in the bad books of the auto driver or auto maman as I called him. As you must be knowing(if you remember my previous posts) I went in the same autorickshaw to school for 12 years! Every single year my Dad paid him well in advance for the repairs of the auto (Talking of my auto- IT WAS A MOVING MASS OF RUST!)Like the new gen bikes, which announces of its arrival with the irritating sound, (which the Yoyo dudes riding the bikes feel is cool)my auto made a lot of sound. It contributed to air and sound pollution and for the Malayalis out there- It reminds me of Dileep’s bus in Parakkum thalika. And it would also run on kerosene! How’s dat?

 Every single year my auto maman exchanged his auto for a “new” one. The new auto would be a replica of the older one, giving it competition be it in rust, or sound ;) He also had a lot of friends, mainly ‘girls’(Those 40+ women would be so happy at this usage :P )and they always got free lifts in our auto. He used to dislike me and the main reason was that I did not know what being punctual was. Of the 12 years, maybe at max 10 times I would be ready when he arrived to pick me. I’m like this only :P

So I get scolded by him and his friends who get free rides also get angry and shout at me! I am late to work all because of you! (Excuse me Madame? Do you know my Dad, who pays this auto driver MONEY unlike you?)So auto maman, his girl friends and all the other auto drivers who park near our auto also scold me! Howzat? Am I a chenda? (drum)Any Tom, Dick and Harry passing by can just scream and walk away?? Cool!! Cheetha kelkan Chanduvinte janmam iniyum bhaaki!

Next problem, automaman had a favourite every year. There is no criterion for selection but I was never even nominated :p These favourite kids get a few privileges.

1.              No scolding in case of late entry

2.             School bag and lunch bag(kit as we call it) would be carried by auto maman.

3.             Good behaviour which includes a smile on greeting (Yellow teeth!)

4.            Not addressed by name, but with Mole- which means daughter in Malayalam.

HOW RUDE!

People like me- who have been there right from three years of age in that rusty auto are looked at with anger and hatred. (But he loves my Dad- advance fee paying factor and my Dad always supports him when he complaints about me.)

So I had a gang of gals who got similar treatment and we suffered from acute  jealousy. I was not the leader of the gang and I rarely talked rudely to him (Reason? I was scared :P What other reason could be there ;))We took a silent oath that all his favourite kids would be our enemies for life and we expressed our hatred through bullying :P This included stamping them and never give them place to sit ;) So these autos have two seats, one being the main seat found in all autos and the other being the makeshift one. So to be sitting on the main seat is like an honour. Not everyone gets selected to sit on that special place. Either you must be among the oldest in the auto or you must have special recommendation from automaman himself or any of the usual main seat people. The most prestigious of the lot was the side seat near the entrance/exit where the senior most member sat.

I still remember each  and every kid I bullied(Maybe I should go find them and apologise like Ranbir Kapoor in Bachna Ae Haseeno :P )It was cruel but we gave what we got ;) We were bullied by our seniors. We threw stones at girls walking on roads, pulled automaman’s hair when he was driving and you wouldn’t believe it they even made up eat bubblegum! (What if we accidently swallowed it and died? :O ) So how I ended up being a” daada” or rowdy had a story. How I got the violent streak :P

There was one guy, who was about 7 years older than us. He had a younger sister who was in the same auto and when he ruled, she was treated as a princess and inspite of being in LKG, she always got to sit in the main seat. This guy was a real rowdy and went to a school well known for its naughty and dangerous guys. We were all soo scared of him that we always agreed to do whatever he wanted us to do. And we got paid, a small piece of bubble gum- Big Babool!. Wow!

One of my friends who was constantly teased and who ended up crying coz of this guy wanted to take revenge (Std III)and so soon as he “graduated” from the auto, we targeted his sister. Due to the lack of guts I did not play the main role, I was the sidekick. We made her cry and went home with a happy heart. But I ended up crying as her dearest brother called me up and started threatening me! Life of a bully is not easy folks. Moreover my automaman used to pinch me for each and every of our pranks- Why me? (And he had such long nails. Like witches. And the present state of my nails reminds me of his nails ;) )

But once I left the auto or rather was conveniently forgotten and new kids(4/5 LKG kids) admitted instead of me, Automaman really started behaving well to me.He had that affection. Afterall he was seeing me right from when I was 3 years old. Now he is old and sick and when we met last year he complained to my Achan that because of me he always got late! After all these years...hehe ;)

PART 2 : FAT AND SHORT

The next worst thing is being short and fat at the same time. I have never ever won a running race in my whole life! Even if I run with the fattest girl in class, SHE WINS! How unfair!

I still remember pleading to the girls and asking them if I could win just once. But girls being girls never let me! Also came the ego factor where they would look inferior in the eyes of our PE teacher if they lost to a fat girl with short legs. They were not ready to keep their marks and image at stake! Maybe this is the reason why I do not enjoy any sport !

When I was small, I used to be pushed and trodden upon often. When the bell rings after the break girls run and I do not come in the line of sight, I’m pushed, I fall down and get stamped. Life’s not easy people!

 PART 3 : TOUCH-ME-NOT

Another addition to this is an oversensitive girl who had an abundant stock of tears :p I was so obsessed by the idea of best friends. I was soo silly that I believed in one mantra- Everyone should have a best friend and he/she belonged only to you. Now I know that this applies for love and not friendship. You have only one lover at a time and that person is exclusively yours (On second thought, thats not really true. In the 21^st century we get to see people easily handling more than one gf/bf at the same time. With advancement of technology, where you have phones which handles multiple tasks and even human beings have become multitaskers. :P )

So I would like to apologise to all my unlucky best friends from school. I didn’t give them space and each and every one of them was soo suffocated that they deserted me. Each one of them took about a year to understand what they have got themselves into and they leave me for someone better(Do I sound like someone who just had a break up? :P )

I still remember this silly story. My “best friend”of some class got new friends when we got promoted to the next class and I was still writing her name wherever they asked for the name of your best friend(I’m not joking people. Slam books, essays, letter writing: everything asked for ur best friend’s name) One day, I went over to her class and asked her if we could have lunch together(we were in different sections)and she was like, “You go. I will come” That was enough to cut her out of my will.

This obsession started at a very young age. When I was in 2^nd std., we were asked to write an essay on “My Best Friend” and my best friend was the most popular girl in school. Did she know about it? No! Who cares? I had my own reasons for making her my best friend. Like,

1.              She was fair and pretty

2.             She had a car, driver attached :P

3.             The driver carried her bag to class and she sat at the back seat of the car all by herself! Wow!

4.            She spoke good English with zero grammatical errors  (Not that I knew anything about grammar)and she spoke in English to her Mom too :O (I used to hate my family for that. All of them spoke fluent Malayalam. How cheap! )

5.           She was always chosen to play the main role in plays.

My Mom read this essay and almost died laughing. She didn’t know that if I was her best friend, then it would be my passport to fame :P My cruel mother edited the essay and wrote about my real best friend who was a normal girl.

1.              She was normal looking and had a dusky complexion

2.             She travelled in my auto, driver attached.

3.             She carried her bag to class

4.            She spoke English which would have given Shakespeare and Wordsworth heart attacks :p and most of the time it sounded like Malayalam (Did  I mention that I spoke similar English?)

5.           She was never chosen for any plays and when she was it was for blink and you will miss her roles (Just like me ;) Refer “The Performer”)

So school life was filled with friends. My close friends and just friends were safe, they were not burdened with the responsibilities of friendship and they liked me. The poor souls, my so-called best friends were the ones in danger zone, who were over loaded with love and affection and care and possessiveness.

Gradually my brains started functioning and I understood that you cannot force people to love you like you love them. Or you cannot expect them to take your name and crown you best friend, just coz you consider them your best friend.

As someone said, if you love someone let them go. If they love you they will come back and if they don’t , they were never yours! The same applies  to friendship too. You should never suffocate someone with your love and friendship. You should give them space. They do have their own life to consider and all what matters is will they be there for you when you really need them and that doesnot include accompanying you to the wash room :P I got back to my senses and then started being happy with anyone and everyone. I had absolutely no belief in the concept of friendship as a few of my so-called friends started discussing behind my back about how silly I am and this made me look like a joker L  And towards the end of school life I gained one great friend who is still there for me in all my good and bad times and the same  God was generous enough to rekindle my belief in friendship and gave me three “best” friends for life, GADS, who taught me to trust again and love unconditionally) I still keep contacts with all my friends from school and these silly things hold no meaning anymore :D

 PART 4: TEACHER’S PET. IS THAT YOU?

Next comes TEACHERS. You shouldn’t be in their bad books and you should never be in their good books too ;)

When I was in the seventh std. I was very stuck up. I was made the class monitor and I used to be first in class. This made me think that I have conquered the world. I was the class teacher’s pet and even our Malayalam teacher liked me a lot and all this contributed in making me Ms. Arrogant. Then when I got promoted to std.8, I took a small portion of my arrogance with me and the same teacher ended up being my English teacher. I loved English and Maths and when I got 48 marks after Test 1, I wasn’t very surprised. I really worked hard on that paper. But the second highest was 44 marks and also I did not have extra ordinary marks for my other papers. Moreover many scored less marks for English. That was the beginning of the best days of school life. Everyone started saying that the good marks on my paper was because the teacher was partial to me and that I was roaming around boasting about my marks!  Many went with complaints to the teacher and someone went as far as complaining to the Principal(I still duno if this is true!)The teacher who should’ve been stern and asked the girls to shut up, went on giving explanations to anyone who asked about my marks. Some stupid girl went as far as stealing my answer paper which didn’t have the sheet which had 10 marks and the complaint which resulted was “There is some counting mistake. Gayathri has only 38 marks!” Hello people, I have the last sheet with 10 bloody marks, ok?? I was shattered when the teacher finally asked me, “Doesn’t anyone like you? All of them are complaining about your marks, instead of being happy for you.” Those were some  of the worst days of life. The silly and childish teacher started insulting me in public so as to prove that she was not partial towards me. She asks a question in class and even if I am the only soul to raise my hand, she would ask “Anyone else?” (Excuse me lady? Are you blind and deaf? I know the answer!) Then I stopped answering, I got bad marks for test 2 and nothing happened after that.

Then comes the story of the teacher I loathe!I’ve been taught by some of the best teachers in the world, in all senses and this lady doesn’t even deserve to be one. A teacher should be a mother, who forgives and forgets and corrects her students and not someone who will wreak vengeance and lives purely on ego! This teacher was a living example of ego and she still remains a nightmare. She was my class teacher in the 9^th std. and due to certain misunderstandings, my division got changed and I was put in another class and this dear teacher was under the impression that I asked for a change. I’m sure it hurt her ego, coz once I shifted divisions she started treating me differently. The misunderstanding story is as follows. My then “best friend”{she really deserves a Nobel Peace Prize because I literally suffocated her with my love. The feeling of friendship and care was not mutual and therefore, I kept complaining about our friendship. Thinking of it now,  I really pity the poor girl.}was in a different section and I was shattered. Divided by “divisions”! On meeting the teacher behind the shuffling, I complained and she took it seriously. I was joking and for the first time in forever someone took me seriously. A staff room discussion about Gayathri being unhappy in her new class and Gayathri wanting to shift classes due to the above reason paved way for my great few months at school. The villain of my story, like a hurt snake, was waiting for the right chance to pay me back and she started off giving me bad marks for an English exam, I did extremely well in. In the history of English literature, for the first time a teacher told the student, ie me, You should write minimum sentences in bullet points! And she said that she lost my answer paper which was submitted for re evaluation. Great!!

Then she constantly made fun of me during class and had this evil look about her. Once in class I was stting in the last bench and looking into my friend’s text book. I usually talk a lot but that particular day I was attentively listening to her. She accused me of talking and made me sit on the floor. Last bench to ground. After class, in Rajnikant style she told me something which implied, “Don’t mess with me”

The same teacher asked two other girls to sit on the ground the next day and they didn’t do so. Then why did I? Why was I soo obedient? I was not the only one who was targeted and hurt. There were many others too. And that included demotivating words and insults!

After few more months of similar insulting events, God got bored and sent in a Sister to teach us. That was the end of this teacher and  one of the best things I could ask for. Maybe it sounds silly, but such people don’t deserve to be teachers and she would also spoil the name of the entire teacher community.

[Got a bit emotional. Even now the sight of her just increases my blood pressure.I hate her! Phew!]

PART 5:PERKS OF BEING INVISIBLE

When in school, as you already know, I was a plain Jane with no talent. I was a nobody, a really talkative nobody. I am very sure that all the girls in my batch knew me because I did not spare a soul. I never dressed impressively and no one bothered to look at me twice.So we made it our duty to stare at and comment about all the good looking and well dressed girls in school and even those who dressed to show off. We ended up being style critics and this gave us soo much pleasure that we never were interested in guys.With so much to do and so many activities, no one really cared about or missed the presence of guys around. I swear it is not the sour grapes story and I am sure any girl who studied in an all girls school would agree with me here. School was heaven and I would never exchange it for co-ed

For about months after their classes start the students of Std 11.wore colored dresses to school. A friend of mine and myself made it a point to devote 10 valuable minutes of our day to observation, analysis and conclusion about the costumes and attitudes of these girls, in the morning and the same continued in the break time. We had a personal favourite who wore the weirdest clothes in town and even age and experience hasn’t changed her. Even now she dresses to show off and things which she considers as stylish would surely bring tears to your eyes. I know because we still stalk her on FB ;)[Jobless!]

I would be deeply indebted to this friend of mine-my partner in crime who was there for me always, mainly when I needed to pass a comment about someone or something or just giggle for no reason at all. Being the giggly duo got us into trouble many a time but we continued to “Pinch n; see”things, pinch being the signal passed :P

PART 5 : IF YOU GIGGLE TOO MUCH?

The story goes like this. Eighth std. marked the beginning of a very beautiful friendship which is still going on. We giggle for anything and everything and the very sight of the other person also makes us laugh. The reason behind this is a mystery.

So our class teacher had spies in the class who would report of the discussions going on in class. We had absolutely no idea of this. One fine day, when we took a break from giggling, we somehow ended up saying each other’s addresses and then pincodes and from then onwards, when we felt like commenting, the secret code would be the last number of our pincodes. So the tone went 851 and we laugh. For an outsider this would look so silly and Im sure people would start doubting. But only we knew about what was going on :p

Then the day came when we were called by our teacher who said that she received a complaint stating that we were talking in code language (Tell me people. 851 is all we said. How many meanings can it have in the same code language?)We were shocked. She told us that she expected great things from us and we should not spoil our future. (By saying 851? :O) The report was submitted by a spy who said that we have gangs who spoke in code languages (And smuggled animal skin!! How silly people can be!!) The spy is unfortunately the same girl who went over to the teacher saying my English answer paper has 10 marks less that what was actually written on the paper . I hate her!) And the best part is that both the girls who were with me in the 851 scam are now doctors and I myself am an engineer. So we didn’t spoil our future by saying 851 ;)

PART 6 : BOYS: SCARRIEST CREATURES ON EARTH

When you study in an all gals school, boys are always aliens to you. Not a single person who knows me now would believe that there was a time when I was literally scared of guys. Believe it or not. Till about 10^th std. I rarely talk to or even look at boys (So rare that I can still list down the names of all those who I talked to) Being very frank, no guy used to talk to me and one poor soul who actually came up to me and said “Good morning” for the first and last time because the shocked expression I gave only suits a question like“Will you marry me?” from him.

I was soo scared of guys and over the years and there was no reason for this. Over the years the plates have changed such that now boys are kinda scared of  me and my non-stop chatter attack.(Sadly.some guy somewhere is destined to bear this cross. Let us all maintain a moment of silence and pray for him :p Even I am scared when I think of the guy who would be ready to take up the risk of marrying me.)

PART 7: LOVE

According to my gang, loving a guy is unforgivable. Love is for girls who don’t study. That was something we held close to dear life.You fall in lovethen you are bad. Studious gals don’t fall in love and we  condemned every single girl who had a boyfriend. We never befriended anyone with a lover. This attitude made it extremely difficult to survive in college as there every other person had a lover or fell in love from college. Initially i had a really tough time accepting this. How can you fall in love? And the most depressing thing was people who had lovers got the best marks and topped the class. That’s not fair!On falling in love, guys do change a lot. They get serious about studies and strive to clear off their backpapers. Also you observe a considerable change in their attitudes and character. Wow!! Love is magical.

I improvised my principles- “Its okay to fall in love iff you will marry the other person.” I never expected myself to say such a thing even in my wildest dreams. I started supporting lovers and my closest friends had lovers. What a change :O

School life is really heaven. Most of the things we believe in, later in life has its  foundations in what we learnt at school and our experiences there. Some wrong things or bad experiences leave a mark forever but sometimes better things happen in life which helps you change entirely. Some of the things you believed in or thought formed the foundation of your very existence maybe the silliest and most absurd things ever heard of!

You gradually become open to change and looking back I laugh my head off as that Gayathri PK was someone totally different from the person i am now inspite of the current me having streaks of the old me.

Even though I am improving day by day and getting sillier and more talkative, my attitude and outlook towards life has changed a lot.I am still possessive about the people I love, but I do not suffocate them anymore. I am getting crazier day by day. But that’s me

I am like this only!