American ammayi diaries: Life in the U.S.

Hello people! The American ammayi is back! :D TADAAA

 I’m obsessed with fonts. Maybe you noticed the n number of fonts I have used in my blog. I write one sentence and change the font 10 times and then continue with writing and after the next sentence, I download more fonts and then the whole process of unzipping and saving and installing takes so much time in my stupid slow laptop that by the time I’m done with it, I lose the desire to write.

So, lets skip all this unwanted nonsense and move on to nonsense related to the topic in hand.

So, like I said, when I moved to the U.S., I was less than a month old married woman with absolutely no idea about how to live life. And until then except for very few people, a majority made marriage sound synonymous to adjustment. And I was clueless about how I would behave around a new roommate. I usually got along well with my roommates and whenever I disagreed with them, I took out the frustration on Amma. And in this case, this was a permanent roommate! I couldn’t complain everyday even if I had my differences!

Little did I know that this would be the least of my worries! My roommate and I got along wonderfully but the days to come presented me with more problems and worries and shocks in other forms.

In India, I was the type of girl who always walked with her head down, “namramukhi” as that would save a lot of energy. You never know, sometimes accidently looking at someone would present you with a wink or flying kiss. I’m sure many of you girls would have had similar experiences of such “kisses” from random strangers! So, when out of home, I either looked at the ground or maybe at some invisible point at a distance. But here that’s not the case!! Any random stranger who comes towards you might surprise you with a “How are you today?” or “Hello there” if you make eye contact.

The week I got here, I went shopping for my winter clothes. Even though back in India, the sight of a foreigner, sayippu or madhama, made me stare with my mouth wide open at them, when I was actually surrounded by sayipps and madhamas, I was intimidated. I felt sorry for being in their country and felt very inferior, I have no idea why! Skin colour? Maybe. So, I was so scared and didn’t leave my husband’s side but then I couldn’t take him to the trial room!

So I go with the clothes for trial and the lady standing there ask me something. It sounded like Greek and Latin to me,went blank for a moment and somehow managed to ask, “Pardon?” You might feel that I am exaggerating (look at me! Explaining myself to you. This is one of my major problems. I feel this constant need to explain myself so that I’m not misunderstood. And at times, it backfires!) But I’m not. I feel intimidated by a lot of people and now coming to this country, the feeling has worsened! I couldn’t really understand her accent then. So she says, “Never mind” and then point me to the trial room. Now I know that, what she asked me was “Hey! How are you doing today?” or something similar. That was the first shock I got.

Even though I have watched English movies and understand most of what they say, soon after coming here, I couldn’t understand a word of what these people were saying. I hoped and prayed that I don’t have to talk to anyone. I never step out of the house alone and when I go with him, I make him do all the talking.

So, for those who don’t know about this country, suppose you are walking on the road, and someone comes in the opposite direction, most of the times, they smile and say either Hello or How are you? Or something similar. Even back home, I was good at small talk. Some shopkeepers keep talking about this and that. That’s not a new thing. But then, random strangers coming over and saying Hello? Just imagine that scene in India. There was one blue eyed shopkeeper near my house. He lived close to my home and so he knew my family. So when I go there to buy something, he smiles and says, “Hello” and my friend and I used to call him a pervert, in simple words, vaayanokki! And look at me now? Saying Hello to those random strangers who greet me.

I don’t really know if we have a choice. But then, if someone greets us, not replying would be rude right? On one of the rarest days ever, I go to the gym. I enter to see three African men of different sizes. Our Indian movies always portray them as villains. Either drug dealers or smugglers or kidnappers and then remember that scene from Fashion? Priyanka Chopra with that African guy? So after all this, I’m really scared of these guys. So this guy was coming towards me. I take one look at him and then look down. He might snatch my chain or even try to molest me. I pray to all the Gods I know. And then we cross each other and I look at him again to interpret what his next move would be. He smiles at me and says, “Hey, how are you?” And was all shocked! This was not what is expected from them!! Hey man, you are a disgrace to all those African actors in Bollywood movies!! And I apologize to you gym mates for thinking that you’re all bad guys. Will try not to stereotype in future. Sorry Shaktiman :(

The place we live in is away from the main roads and so is quite peaceful. In other words, the silence here is scary. I’ve never watched these English horror movies. The ones I’ve watched are these extremely silly ones in Malayalam like Aakashaganga and Indreeyam where the white saree clad ghost seems to have an asthma problem and can’t find a hair band around. I once heard the story of Conjuring 2 and couldn’t sleep at night. So imagine what would happen if I see the movie? Especially when I’m living in this eerie place?

We don’t have fans at home and so once he leaves for work, there is only the occasional sound of the refrigerator and the annoying person upstairs. While watching “Friends”, I used to feel that they are exaggerating when Mr. Heckles used to complain that he was disturbed by these people walking about in Monica’s apartment. But seriously, it is not an exaggeration. With these wooden floors and walls, you can hear every sound made by the people above you :P  And our neighbours upstairs are these very noisy people and when there is complete silence here, they choose that exact moment to drop something with a heavy thud. ( And again , one day I see that ourneighbor has a dog and I've never heard it barking!!)

And sometimes, when its very silent, I can hear a woman singing in a very beautiful voice, I don’t know if it’s a neighbor or a ghost. And whenever I move from one room to another someone imitates my footsteps from the floor above. Be it day or night, I’m followed by someone. And behind the shower curtain, I expect Valak to be waiting for me. Until noon, I talk to my family, but after that? It’s just me and the ghosts. So, for a long time, I was given company by Mohanlal ;) In the form of Aaram Thampuran and Narasimham..those powerful dialogues and spit filled English dialogues can scare away any ghost! That’s the power of Lalettan :D Even Suresh Gopi and Mammootty comes to my rescue at times. Just remember that!!

So, I will wind up this post now. Until we meet next, Malayalam movies will be played in loop here, beware Americans and go away ghosts!!

I’m like this only!!